Tofurkey ?

What is the world coming to? I just celebrated Thanksgiving and where in the heck did Tofurkey come from? I went trotting about the legs of the oak dining room table, lifting my paw once I caught the gaze of a human, and with my best fluttery blinking, I'd beg a little table scrap here and there.

Well, to my utter surprise, a few humans tried forking over some table scrap called Tofurkey. The other humans were calling them Vegans or something. Now, I'm all for loving animals, don't get me wrong. But that's ridiculous. I want REAL turkey meat on Thanksgiving. Dark meat. White meat. Giblets in my stuffing. Gimme all the goodies!

But when I beg, I want REAL turkey gosh darnit! No fake gobble meat. I mean, how do I know what kinda farm they raise this Tofurkey on...what, Vegan planet? Really, I don't mind meatless meatballs and fake corndogs, but on the holy day of food and thanks, this dog better get some roasted turkey slathered in butterball juices and dripping with cranberry sauce.

Next, it'll be Fauxcranberry sauce, because the cranberries have suffered long enough. What with their mushing and jelling and jarring, it'd be a shame to harm them anymore. After all, a cranberry has feelings too. I'm sure they scream as they're pulled from their bog, only we can't hear 'em.

Tofurkey. Tofurkey. Oops, don't say the word three times in a row or you'll turn into one of them.

Gobble Gobble Gobble.

Bark at you later,
PJ the meat eater on Thanksgiving dog blogging dog :-P