Sunday, September 11, 2005

9/11 : A Dog Remembers

Today marks four years since 9/11. September 11th is a heavy feeling I carry with me everyday I wake up and stretch my paws.

It's sad how there are fewer flags flying year after year. The videos of the planes flying into Tower 1 and Tower 2 at The World Trade Center become split-second promos on TV.

I remember.

I'd like to think everyone will never forget the feeling of vulnerability that has never left the heart of any true American. It's a scary feeling. Sure, that's what the terrorists want, Americans to feel scared and fearful. But, denying that I feel scared isn't helping.

I'm supposed to go on and live life normally.

I'm sorry, but that is impossible. The last time I did was September 10th, 2001. I see a plane fly over my head and I can't seem to not think about the planes going into the side of the towers. I see a movie where a building explodes and people run from the smoke, and I can't help but remember the images of New York and all the ash and dust. I see an old episode of Friends and the Twin Towers are there in the opening credits. I see a fire truck drive down the street, and my heart jumps. It comes back to me, that day, with a grip on my soul.

I remember glancing at some Mourning Doves on the morning of 9/11. They were eating birdseed. But, the air was still. No wind. No movement. A silence that blanketed all around me. The doves made no familiar sound. They too, were silent.

Four long years have passed. How things have changed and how they have stayed the same. Threat Level: Elevated.
The saddest part of all is that I used to feel safe living in America. I could stare up at the blue skies and watch the fluffy clouds and hear the rumble of the jets fly across the Pacific Ocean.

Today is September 11th. And tomorrow, September 12th, I will remember that it's been 4 years and 1 day since the world changed. The blanket of silence I felt four years ago still remains. It has never been lifted. I used to think military jets would zoom into action if domestic flights were taken over in US air space. I used to think any plane that threatened the US would be shot down and questions asked later. I even imagined there was a green or blue laser that would appear from between the layers of clouds and vaporize any threat to our homeland.

The reality hit that morning.

The emptiness that has stayed, is perhaps, the absence of security I once relied upon. Now, the anticipation of when, not if, hangs in the air. When will it happen again.

Bark at you later, PJ the dog blogging dog.