Thursday, October 6, 2005

I can't help but wonder sometimes...

Why it's so hard to just Love, Listen and Remember.

There are quite a few people who have passed on in my life. Not a few of whom, I'd love to be able to give a hug to. I'd relish in being able to wrap my paws around their backs and slobber a big doggie kiss on their rosy cheeks. Being that I am a relatively young pup, I shouldn't have had this many deaths in my life already. But, the fact remains, I do. It's not something I get blue over, I have just accepted it. However, there are lessons to be learned from losing so many so fast.

I've learned most of my lessons by observing the humans around me in hospital waiting rooms, dinners here and there, and just plain everyday living. Most people dismiss a doggie and don't "see" them. So, I'm the symbolic "fly on the wall." :-)

1. Not saying "I love you" when you could have and should have, but didn't. I can honestly say, I have no regrets there. I have always expressed my "I love you"'s with an over-eagerness. I've even won over a few who never said it. It's really not that hard to learn and the return on your investment of three simple words, is priceless for your soul. Say it now. Call up a loved one who you haven't spoken to and offer those three words across the telephone line. What can it hurt?

2. Listen. Many people I know, don't listen. Sure, they nod and mumble "uh-huh" and "yup", but they aren't listening to the person who is sharing part of themselves. Perhaps it's the last conversation you will ever have with this person. But listening can garner many things: oral history of your family, genealogy information, medical history, or simply childhood tidbits that will be held as precious gems in years to come. You never know. Heck, I've got two flap jack ears that I can perk up and listen with at a whim. You've probably got two ears, like satellite dishes (ok, I'm a dog with big ears, forgive my simile), and you don't have fur covering them. It's an easy habit to learn.

3. Keep a journal during a loss. You'll be wondering what so-and-so said on his/her last day a year or so from now, and guess what? You probably won't remember due to stress and grieving. Take the time to write things down during a time of grieving and you'll be happy you took the time later. It's the little things we can hold onto after someone is gone that make it easier. Perhaps, you will stay awake one night wondering if you had told your brother about something important. He's gone now. Did you tell him? Well, check that journal or diary and ta-da. You don't have to wonder. Sure enough, three days before he passed away from pancreatic cancer, you find a note jotted down about that exact conversation you and he had as you sat on his hospital bed. Phew. And, that's just the tip of the heavenly iceberg...

Ok, enough lessons of the day. I'm dog-gone plum-tuckered. Maybe you'll get something out of this blog, and maybe you won't. But, at least I gave it all four paws.

Bark at you later,
PJ the dog blogging dog.